Being Flexible with Food as a Mom
When I was taking Marci Evan’s Nutrition Counseling for Eating Disorders training she repeatedly stated that RD’s doing this work HAVE to be flexible with food.
If I have a client who is challenging Oreos, pumpkin chocolate chip bread, or Doritos, then I have to feel OK about eating those myself. Being flexible with food allows you to think neutrally about food and frees up emotional and mental energy to do something better with your time. And part of the gift that comes from being flexible with food is discovering your own preferences. I may not prefer an Oreo but I do love me some Doritos on occasion.
As a mother of four who does this work, I’d state that MOTHERS HAVE/MUST TRY to be flexible with food.
It is not realistic or helpful for mothers to feed their families or themselves perfectly well. This is a lie created by diet culture and wellness culture.
When I was a brand new mom + a brand new RD (both of which happened at the exact same time), I felt so much pressure to feed my kids “well”. I learned so much about the evils of sugar during my dietetic internship that I tried hard to keep it out of the house. When we did have it, I’d make sure we stuck to the American Heart Association’s recommendations.
Even with a tiny food budget, this was pretty easy to do when I had babies + toddlers. But as my children grew and my views expanded, it became challenging and draining to have food rules. Also, my experiences working with people showed me that all humans benefit when they are flexible with food.
Flexibility with food seems like an easy concept to grasp. Perhaps you already think you have it down. But being flexible with food means that you can freely eat what is available and move on until hunger emerges again. Additionally, the voices in your head telling you that you ‘shouldn’t’ or that you ‘need to be careful’ are gone or at least very quiet.
Being completely flexible with food is a privilege that not every mother gets to experience. If you are privileged to buy organic produce and Fruit by the Foot so that your kids can be flexible with food too, take some time to sit in gratitude with that rather than to think your kid is getting too much sugar. You are fostering an environment that allows your children to trust their bodies.
What does being flexible with food as a mom look like?
Saving money on groceries.
Being OK with canned or frozen over fresh.
Buying what is locally available.
Changing your list because something was on sale.
Sending your kids to grandparents without requests to buy “organic” or “clean”
Letting them figure out their own lunch.
Teaching them to cook something easy like Mac and cheese from a box or a quesadilla.
Getting school lunch.
Going through a drive through.
Eating ice cream with them.
Eating what you made for dinner, not a salad version of what you made for dinner.
Having fun foods in the house.
Buying sugary cereal.
Buying white bread because they asked.
If you are trying to be more flexible with food, I am so proud of you. We live in an environment that makes mom guilt in feeding your kids very heavy. With all the information on social media about feeding kids, I would love to see more fun foods like Cheetos or gummy bears in the pictures. Because if they aren’t getting it at your house, they will want to get it at their friend’s house. And that’s what being flexible with food as a mom looks like in real life.